7.5 things I'd do if I were president of the world

1.  I'd bring back Studio 60, give them government money if need be, force them to rewrite the silly ending, then commission series 2 and 3.  I'd make the pillocks who canned the series apologise. [I'd do the same with Deadwood.  I'd restart MASH with the original characters.  I'd burn every single copy (burn as in destroy, not put on a dvd) of the last series of the West Wing.  I'd like another 5 seriese of "The Wire", but I respect the decision to stop while they're on top.
2.  I'd recall every single DVD player ever sold and get the manufacturers to add a "skip the shite" button which takes you straight past all the unwanted adverts, the insults and accusations that you may be a thief, and any sort of fancy, self-indulgent dvd-designer stuff.  I buy the DVD to watch the movie or TV show ... not to be told I'm a theif.  I'd also force movie theatres to put up a 10 second message which says, "Hey, you paid to watch this movie, so you're probably not a thief!  Thanks!  We appreciate your business and hope you enjoy this movie".
3.  I'd take all Dublin based taxi owners (not the drivers, the owners), put them in a helicopter, strip them naked, drop them in Athlone and force them to walk home naked.  Dublin Taxi service may be better now than it was in the 1990s and it takes a lot to get me riled, but you guys sucked.  No offence to the drivers - you were just paid to do your jobs.  Since many of the taxi owners were also the politicians who kept the taxi monopoloy in place ...
4.  I'd institute an outright ban (i.e. "I'd ban ...") on those nasty spot light lights which might look fancy, but do a crap job of lighting my house.  Form over function, indeed.  I'd also insist that only 1 type of lightbulb connection ever be used: it'd be the bayonett type, like we had in the old days.
5.  I'd ban diabetes and scrabble and I'd have Michael Moore publically flogged for being such a hypocryte.
5.5 I'd ban spelling nazies and muffin tops and I'd find a good wife for my friend GT.
6.  I'd create an international chain of public funded "soft play" centres for adults.  No children allowed.  No hippies either.  Vegetarians okay, but not vegans. 
7.  I'd make Steve Jobs put proper keyboard navigation on his MacBooks (like Windows does) and I'd make them include David Pogue's mac missing manual in the mac box and a few "how to switch from windows" videos.