Bastard CEOs

One of the joys of working with a top notch editor is that I can see my book getting better and better before my eyes. I'd describe most of what I've been doing as "thining" out the dull bits and "growing" by making the scenes read more visually.

Earlier this summer, my Mum and Dad came over from New Zealand to spend six weeks with us. They loved spending time with my wife and I and especially the kids (they essentially met them for the first time) but I suspect that now they're back home my Dad, in his pragmatic and farmerly way, will be busy tell his friends how he pruned the tree that grows on our front lawn. The original property developers planted a (seeminlgy random variety of) tree on each of the properties on our street; we got a crab apple tree. It had grown quite tall and had even grown a few fruit; we were quite pleased with it.

My Dad was only in the door 5 minutes before he told me he wasn't happy with the tree he. Dads like doing things for their kids and given that we live so so far away he's not had much chance to do that so, fighting off sleep following over 30 hours of travel, he started explaining to me what was wrong with the tree. He said that the tree was - as trees do - putting all of its energy into growing tall which was fine in a forest where the taller trees get the most sunlight. But, he said, since it was a "townie tree" we'd be better off with a shorter, rounder tree on a small residential space like ours. He added, very seriously, that a storm could easily uproot a tall tree like ours.

So, with my blessing, he borrow a saw and pruning sheers from a neighbour - noting that his son doesn't own such necessities - then sawed (pruned, he said) the tree to half its height. He spent another 20 minutes shaping the tree with the sheers. I got delegated the "boys" job of tidying up the offcuts and taking them to the dump.

The tree now looks ugly, squat and uncared for. But I can see how, in 2 or 3 years, it will grow into a nicely shaped suburban tree. And that's because my Dad forced it to put its energy into growing into that shape.

That's essentially what Susannah, my editor, is helping me do with my book. She is showing me where to cut it, so that I can put my energy into growing it into the right shape. The good news, for me, is that my book is currently about the right hight and shape, its just the individual branches that need shaping and polishing.

Which brings me to my point!

I'm struggling with growing one part of my book. Currently Steve, the stories hero and narrator, has TOLD us about how he doesn't get along with Harry, the company's CEO. I want to change that to SHOW Harry being a prick, but I'm struggling to write an arrogant, assertive, confident, CEO-like, asshole-like dialogue. I don't talk that way myself and the CEO-like people I know are all really rather lovely and polite.

Do you know of any books - autobiographies, fiction, biographies, say - which contain that kind of dialogue, so that I can base Harry's words on someone else's?
.oOo. Sent from my BlackBerry www.ClarkeChing.com +44(0)7920114893

Comments

[Jeff SKI Kinsey]

Mean Business by Al "Chainsaw" Dunlap might fit the bill.

[Bruce]

Sound's like you need to watch Wallstreet again. I know it's not the 80s anymore, but if memory serves correctly, that would be time well-served (he says with fingers crossed as I've not seen it since watching it in the cinema, and snippets on the telly some years ago).

PS - any idea of publication date yet? I'm tempted to reread the draft you released in the spring, but would also like to see the finished version too, if that's not too far away.

[Rob Lally]

I was going to suggest Gordon Gekco, but Bruce beat me to it.

It has been my experience that the C*O types that ground-troops resent most are the one's who blithely take people's hard work and effort for granted, taking credit when something good happens and passing the buck when there's a downturn.

I once worked in an organisation in which, after having a bad year, the CEO put out a statement saying "This year has been a terrible disappointment to me, the strategic vision and direction I set were correct; but the implementation and execution by the organisation was poor." Essentially, "I did a good job, it was the rest of you who are screw-ups, and don't tell me I should have noticed mid-year and done something about it, I'm not listening".

To be a C*O, you need to be politically astute, but when that's your only quality and concern .. you're not going to have friends in the geek fraternity.

[David P]

Think of all things that wind you up. Things like talking over you, cutting you off abruptly, waffling, not listening, wasting your time, making you wait, being distracted - answering phone calls while you're in the middle of talking, telling you what to think, talking behind your back, being two-faced, not supporting you, criticising you in public, micromanaging you, checking up on you, picking up on unimportant details, never praising you, looking out the window while you're talking, deliberately ignoring you, undermining you, blaming you, claiming your successes etc.

[Glen B. Alleman]

Sir Alan Sugar