Clarke Ching - More Chilli Please

Do you ever stop to wonder ...

... how successful Scooby doo would have been if it had been called Scooby don't?

Me neither - apart from just this once.

Dodo marketing

[apologies if you are reading this twice ... I didn't proof it properly the first time around]

Think back a hundred or so years to when the first Dodo was "discovered" and named.

If they'd called the species something other than "Dodo" would they still be around today?  Dodo kinda screams out "extinction" doesn't it ...

Now ... what if the poor Dodo had tasted sooooooo good that someone figured that, commercially speaking, it was worthwhile figuring out how to breed them so that they could sell them?  Would they still be here today?  Would be eating roast Dodo at Christmas and Thanksgiving?  All of our domesticated food sources survived because they presented a good business proposition.

Now think of an idea you've that's very clever BUT sitting on the shelf - it's on the idea "endangered list", bordering on extinct.

The "is it worth saving" filter: is the idea really that good? do you really want it to survive? 

If it's not why waste your time and other people's time?

Otherwise ...you should ask yourself "how can I make this idea taste soooooooooo good to other people that they think it's worth figuring out how to breed it and sell it commercially?"  In otherwords, how can you and they make more money from it?

Pay rates ...

I worked at a place which paid above the market average and had very, very low staff turnover. 

Sounds good for the employees .. good for the staff, right?

It was horrible.  Everyone who worked there agreed.

No one left even when they hated their jobs.  No one new, with new ideas, came in for a long, long time because they had no vacancies (because no one left).  When new people did come in they hated it because the place had no appetite for new ideas and a bunch of really grumpy, but well paid people.  Oh, and their wage bill was high too - especially when you consider the quality of output from all the grumpy people (each of which would probably have done more work, if they'd been working in a happier place, even if they'd been paid less).

Free stuf ... Can you help a doctorial student out? [Scotland only]

I had lunch yesterday with Lisa Lui, a bright and enthusiastic doctorial student at a Glasgow university.  She is about to kick off the research phase of her doctorate and that means she needs to talk to Agile managers. 

Specifically, Lisa would love to get some hands on time - days, weeks, perhaps even months - working with a Scottish based Agile team. She says she'll do it for free ... but I reckon it'd be cool if there were some way that she could earn a little money - you remember what it's like to be a student.  She's versatile, but, admits that she has little industrial expereince.  She does teach other students how to code and how to design databases.

If you are a Scotland based Agile Manager, can you help Lisa?  Do you know someone who might be able to help?

Hmmm ...

In fact ... now that I think about it, one of my big peeves is that I think that modern day software developers DON'T know enough about database design. Lisa does and she teaches it professionally.

Let's see if we can turn this into something where YOU BENEFIT lots.

Do your developers know enough about database design?  Do you think they could do with a little refresher course?  If so then Lisa would probably be willing to do free training - which would cost you hundreds, if not thousands, of pounds normally - in exchange for letting her help you out on your project.

Email me: Clarke.Ching@gmail.com if you think you can help.  Thanks!

my laptap is hot to the touch

My 14 month old laptop has recently started getting very hot to the touch.  It never used to be.  Any hints on how I can cool it down?

I read online that it might be something to do with dusty vents ... but I don't have a clue if that's true or how to de-dust my vents...   

Making More Money - example 1

My book's most blatant theme is that many, many businesses can use Agile+TOC to transform their software development teams from financial black holes into a gold mines. 

In my equally blatant on-going effort to promote my book and my own consulting services I am going to post some examples of how Agile+TOC can make these businesses much more money.

Let me give you a mock, but realistic, example.

Imagine one of CCXCO's many software development teams is made up of 10 staff each earning (for the sake of argument) £250* per day.  A little math reveals that CCXCO spends £2,500 each day to keep this team producing software. Assuming that there are 20 working days in a month then CCXCO pays out £50,000 each month on building software for this team alone.

Now, imagine that the team has just spent 6 months delivering a project using traditional methods.

The project cost £300,000.

Now, ask yourself: how much could CCXCO have saved if the project delivered a better product in 4 months, rather than 6 months?

That’s right: £100,000.

That is a lot of money even for a big company like CCXCO ... especially when you add it up for every software development team in the company.

That's the sort of saving that well most well run Agile+TOC projects can expect to achieve. 

CCXCO wasted £100,000 in that half of the year, for that team, because they didn't use Agile+TOC.

Most Agile+TOC projects can reasonably expect to finish in between half and two-thirds of the time a traditionally run project would. 

Why?  The first reason is that Agile+TOC projects they do far, far less rework.  The second reason is they build far fewer unwanted features.  The third reason, is that they force technical catastrophes (which only happen on some projects but often cause those projects to be cancelled) to happen earlier in the project when they are easier, quicker and cheaper to solve. 

Agile+TOC projects finish earlier.

Fortunately, that's only a tiny part of the good news.  More to come.

The unfortunate thing is that most businesses have no idea they are missing out on these savings.  That's one of the reasons why I've written my book.

* to convert each pound figure into American dollars using the current exchang rate, just change the symbol to $ and add another zero to the right of the orginal number.

IQ ... or lack of ... I'm losing it...

Okay, okay.  I was kidding when I said that 75% of people have below average IQ.  It was obviously a typo and I meant to say that 75% of the people who read newspapers like "The Times" on the internet. 

Oh shit.  Times readers are supposed to be "intelligent" aren't they.

Let's put it this way ... anyone who has a different opinion to me is stupid.  That's probably everyone ...

I have an MBA don't you know.

My wife's a doctor ... does that count for anything?  I claim equivalent intelligence to her by virtue of marriage.

But then again ... she disagrees with me all the time ... so she must be stupid.  Which makes me stupid doesn't it?

Have you stopped reading and unsubscribed from this blog yet?

I went to school with a kid called "Wayne Rogers" (honestly, I did) who had buck teeth.  Guess what his nickname was ...

There was a girl in the same class with the surname Cassidy.  She (honestly, I'm not making this up) had one leg a little shorter than the other.  If you don't know her nickname then you must be < 38 years old.

At school they used to call me "one eyed Ching" because there is only one "i" in Ching.

I'm losing it ... but do you notice that my spelling has improved?

We have a fancy fridge/freezer from Miele.  It beeps when we leave the door open for more than a minute.  Drives us crazy.  We called it "the fridge nazi" until we discovered that Miele is a German brand and calling it a nazi no longer seemed funny - especially since the fridge was very, very tall and white. 

Serious question: is that daft on my part? 

People and their opinions

I've tried to write this particular blog post about a dozen times during the last 5 years ... but I always get stuck and give up.  I am determined to keep it brief this time and then click save.

Here's the idea: the internet has made it too easy for stupid people to share their opinions.

Take a look at this article, written by a fully qualified doctor, and then look at the comments.

It's a sad fact - though many will dispute it - that over 75% of the population have below average IQ.  And, yet they still let them use the internet.

I'm going to click save before I delete the previous paragraph.

AgileScotland - “Extremely Profitable Programming with COBOL" - by Clarke Ching, Edinburgh, 12th of May, 2008.

AgileScotland - “Extremely Profitable Programming with COBOL" - by Clarke Ching, Edinburgh, 12th of May, 2008.    

                    

Hi everyone,

Last year I managed a very successful Agile project, despite far from ideal circumstances.

I want to share this story with you at the next Agile Scotland meeting because it shows how Agile can be used in everyday organisations, by everyday people, working on everyday technology to do better business.

 

On the first day of the project, I met with our project's key customer - a senior manager with one of the UK's largest companies - he said to me, "I don't know you Clarke, but we simply don't trust your client. We've had too many bad expereinces". Fortunately, my client had warned me to expect this and, in fact, my "promise" to them was specifically to "rebuild trust with their customer". Three months later, mid-way through the project, they flew some of their experts down to visit us, to find out how we'd achieved such a turnaround. A few days later we discovered – and fixed - our first defect. By the end of the project we had rebuilt trust considerably, we'd profitably delivered the project as promised, and in doing so the customer made tens-of-millions of pounds in extra profit.  However, we very nearly screwed up the whole thing right near the end – I'll tell you all about that on the night.

 

The project was a success despite doing many things which some niave but enthusiastic agilists say cannot or should not be done in "agile" projects. For instance:

 

• My team were working on an old legacy system made up of COBOL, ancient Oracle and rubber-bands;
• Our customer consisted of around 50 people spread across five sites, based in three countries. 
• We promised (and then delivered) to an aggressive, fixed-scope, fixed-price, fixed-date contract.

I'll repeat it: I want to share this story with you all because it shows how Agile can be done in everyday organisations by everyday people working on everyday technology. This project finished in 6 months - it would have taken between 10 and 14 months, if done the "old" way.  That delay would have cost my client the contract and it would have cost their customer tens-of-millions of pounds in profit.  Agile, Theory of Constraints and good-old-fashioned project-management did that. 

 

In this session I'll share a few of the "secrets" (things you don't read about in the currently published agile books) which saved the project, such as:

 

• How to use fear, intimidation and genuine concern to force your customer to collaborate so that they can be successful (I am serious about this: this project would have failed if I hadn't spoken one very calculated, very sincere, sentence just at the right time);
• How to build trust with your team by being lazy and getting them to do your job;
• How to do TDD with COBOL;
• And (as a special bonus!) I'll share with you the one rule we used to deliver more work in each iteration than anyone had ever thought possible. Seriously.

At the risk of sounding like an infomerical …

... But wait, there's more! Since I'm feeling rather pleased with myself about my "publishing deal" I would like to buy pizza and a few beers for everyone who comes along on the evening. 

 

If you would like to learn some new stuff from this story then I only have 15 spots so please send me an email: Clarke.Ching@SpiceUpIT.com.  We will meet in Edinburgh, starting at, 7:15 on the 12th of May, 2008.

 

Clarke Ching

07920114893
www.clarkeching.com

Linda Rising

I - along with 20 others - have just spent a wonderful day with Linda Rising, co-author of Fearless Change. She did a days training for us here in Scotland covering retrospectives and "fearless" change.  I am impressed. If you ever have a chance to hear Linda speak then take it.

Although Linda and I cover a lot of similar ground with respect to change and influence, I'm absolutely wowed at how well the patterns work as a frame work and I'm going to start using them in my own work. I'm not going to do the pattern thing justice by saying this, but simply naming something can make a big difference. Go check out Fearless Change book.

The most useful thing I learned from Linda was probably the simplest: she framed the patterns using  a (deliberately) simple scripted play which was read by "volunteers" from the audience. The play started with The Evangelist telling The Innovator about his desire to try out this agile thing he has been reading about; Linda then explained how these two roles (Evangelist and Innovator) were also patterns and elaborated on each of them; they then discussed the idea of having a brown bag lunch, which is another pattern; Linda described it and a few other related patterns in more detail; and so on. The play worked remarkable well as a training device. I am so impressed that I am going to steal the idea (the thieving bastard pattern) immediately and claim it as my own (the never leave a written confession to a crime unless you want to get caught pattern.

(From my Blackberry - and then completely rewritten on my desktop)